Well Soul Yoga

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Yoga at Work

Corporate yoga and why more businesses will be implementing the practice.

At the height of the pandemic between 40 to 50 % of work hours logged in EU countries were being performed remotely by people working from home, Ireland being the second highest on that list according to labour market think tank Eurofound. No doubt this is a testament to the monumental ability of the human race to adapt so quickly to such adverse events with the aid of technology. Technology is allowing many employees continue to work, offer services and earn a living during one of the most surreal events of our lifetimes. It seems that this may be a trend here to stay long after Covid 19 has gone, or at least some hybrid of combined office hours and remote work will be a permanent part of the landscape. A survey by the BBC future forum research found in the UK that only 12% of employees surveyed would like to return to the traditional way of working with 9 to 5 office hours, long commutes, or the excessively high rents that go along with many of these positions. It seems the pandemic has increased the velocity of the shift to a more flexible environment for many positions and it has exposed the ease of which the transition can be accomplished while also expanding peoples imaginations to conceive of an improved work life balance with less commuting and the efficiencies offered by the home office experience. All these positives are immediately evident, but some of the less obvious effects may only be seen after a some lengthy exposure to this, for many, a new way of working.
The lines between work and home life are, now, even more easily blurred. The work life hours can begin to seep into the home life hours. Long term this will have an impact on employees quality of home life, family life and cumulatively, in their overall performance. Employees will no longer just be bringing their work home with them on the weekends but living, sleeping, waking, repeating with their work, family and home 24/7. Employees are more productive from home, in Ireland we have seen productivity increasing by 13% due to remote working, however there is always the flip side where employees are feeling the pressure. According to research carried out by IrishJobs.ie, 21% say they cannot switch off from work, 12% feel that they are working less efficiently due to longer hours and expectations and 11% claim to have a heavier workload than usual. Anyone who has worked from home with children also knows the level of patience required to juggle both.
In the same research 42% of employees were working form their kitchen table and only 2 in 10 had a dedicated space to work. We have regulations about work place safety to prevent strain and injury, we have yet to catch up with the same issues for remote workers.

The opportunity

This *study from the university of Bristol found some compelling evidence for the implementation of any exercise programme and the creation of opportunities for employees to move during their work day.

The proven* benefits of any type of exercise during the work day-

Improved energy
Improved mental clarity
Improved concentration and focus
Improved interpersonal employee relationships
Greater productivity
Improved ability to problem solve
Immediate sense of calm and connection
Decreased overall stress response
Decreased absenteeism
Decreased physical distress and work related injury
Decreased postural degradation and dysfunction in sedentary roles

*”Such corporate-social responsibility might not just lead to longer-term, health-related financial returns. Businesses may notice staff that take up such opportunities are in much better spirits and are much more productive on a short-term basis.”

Exercise during the work day, whether in a remote work environment or your regular office, has so much to offer employees and their employers, the benefits of which are numerous as listed above.
One of the most difficult aspect that dedicated employees seem to struggle with is the allocation of appropriate time for the maintenance of their mental health and wellbeing. This seems to be true whether in the office or working remotely. On-site workers have the added element of feeling judged by their piers as this study reveals. The study published by the International Journal of Workplace Health Management noted the many benefits of physical exercise during the work day. Yet it also worryingly noted that the participants had negative impacts of the challenges of organising their exercise, work colleagues opinion and the guilt of taking time away from their work. This will be even more difficult for those working remotely where the work life balance is precarious.

“It offered an active break from the demands of the office, where participants commented on the marked contrast with the sedentary nature of their work. Females especially valued this as “me time”. Exercise afforded contributors more perspective about the workday and resilience to stressors. It appeared to reinforce their short-term sense of personal achievement, by a process of accumulation. Negative features included the challenges of self-organisation, guilt over being away from the desk and perceived negative judgement from colleagues.”

Intervention is required by thoughtful, forward thinking leadership within the business community itself, leadership that will inspire employees to take their health seriously and define the lines again. By building in specific healthy active breaks to the routine of the work day this will alleviate all of the elements which aggravate employees ability to take the beneficial physical exercise needed, which included the challenges of self organisation, negative judgement from colleagues and guilt over being away from their desk. Or by offering employees proven exercises that they can add to their toolbox of self care during or at the end of the work day, such as yoga and meditation, we can begin to offset the negatives we see arising.

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” John Quincy Adams

Why Yoga is the perfect fit.

Yoga offers many medicinal benefits but it is unique in some very important aspects which make it most appropriate for the workplace. The practice fuses rather effectively with the office environment and the specifics needs of implementing a work place programme to boast physical activities for employees during their work day as outlined below.

Benefits of Yoga in the workplace

Yoga is accessible to all levels of experience and physical abilities
Adaptable for chair options
Limited equipment required (a mat or chair)
Low impact exercise
Yoga can be offered online via live classes directly to your office or employees home
Yoga can be offered onsite at the workplace or events with limited requirements or equipment

Benefits of yoga as a practice
Yoga focuses on alignment, flexibility and mindfulness in movement. Perfect for the strains of sitting and using a computer for long periods. Breathing exercises invigorate and cleanse the mind, who doesn’t need that in the afternoon slump? Meditative practices offer an immediate sense of calm and long term resilience to stress.

Improved alignment, flexibility and strength
Improved cardiovascular health
Increased sense of wellbeing and calm
Improved balance and posture
Increased immune response through reduced cortisol
Improved mental performance and clarity
Improved resilience to stress
Increased energy
Improved sleep
Improved confidence and body image

*”The study also begs the question whether employers can afford not to be encouraging active breaks. The suggestion is that employers who are ahead of the game in offering proper onsite facilities actually get less from their employees on days that they don’t exercise.”

Changing work environments and changing times require a fundamental change in attitude to our wellness and work life. If we are to learn lessons from the crisis, one of those lessons is to take care of our body, minds and spirits, lean into change and take care of our workforce so we can keep the country operating.

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Is your yoga practice another stick to beat yourself with?

Having practiced yoga now for a number of years I still occasionally struggle with my own lessons in regards to respecting my body’s unique anatomy, needs and limitation from injuries. There is still a battle with the shadow aspect of my ego in the practice. Finding that balance between feeling challenged, feeling like I’m improving in a pose or my entire practice and respecting my own limitations and preserving the long term health of my joints and my ageing human body is an ever present act of balancing effort (Sthira) and ease (Sukham). It is also an act of long term self care and love that is essential to a healthy safe practice and life.

Flicking through instagram and facebook yoga pages you’d be forgiven for believing that the quality of your yoga practice was determined by how complex your poses were or how deep you went into a back bend, or even how aesthetically pleasing your body is as you pose in super tight expensive yoga apparel. I don’t detract from those who have practiced the asana to the point where they have the super flexibility comparable to that of professional gymnasts than your every day yogi, that is their journey and for some it is inspiring to see what the body can do. But is that what we want to reduce the practice to? Looking at these images its easy to feel inadequate in your own practice, to feel the desire to push harder, deeper and past the point of safety to satiate the egos desire to achieve the same standard. Or on the other extreme perhaps give up or not try at all with the sense you will never compare, you are not enough.
Why do we feel this way? One aspect could be that we are bombarded from a young age with concepts in the west, through strategic psychological practices performed in the name of advertising and marketing, that seek to undermine our natural sense of perfection, to ensure we continue the cycles of materialism and capitalism that see profits remain high and self esteem low. We may all be aware of this on some level but how insidious this is on the psyche may not be so apparent. Yoga is no different. It is, in some aspects, a commercial business and sales must be driven. There are also numerous traumas that can also occur in our lives that leave us vulnerable to self doubt and even hatred of our bodies and our Self. I have found the longer I practice all aspects of yoga, ( including pranayama, meditation, following the eight fold path of living well), that my love for my Self deepens and this makes the shedding of these aspects of avidya (the veil of illusion) naturally occur. It is such a natural human response that we wish to see progress, compare ourselves to others and it is that drive that inspires us, but it is that same drive ‘out of control’ that creates the dynamics to cause suffering.

Self inquiry

When practicing some of the inquiries we can make include; How do you feel about your practice and where you are? How do you speak to your body when you are moving into and out of poses? What are you actually hoping to achieve? Do you feel you will love yourself only when you look a certain way or achieve something in your practice? If you are creating tension and stress within your body or you are hyper critical, impatient and finding fault with your progress, or if it is simply physical perfection and extreme postures you wish to attain, then you may have lost contact with the point of the practice and be using it as another way to measure your worth, beat yourself up and find fault.

The work

Learn to listen to the innate wisdom of your unique body and experience. Sit with the feelings that may come up when you catch yourself pushing or becoming impatient or perhaps when you resist a pose or even resist practicing due to feeling inadequate. These are powerful emotional responses and potential blockages that you may be witnessing surfacing. This is the real work we are doing in our practice and wherever you are in your work, your practice, your journey, you are right where you need to be, you are perfect, you are enough.

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Why a Private Yoga Class?

Yoga classes have sprung up in every corner of most countries with classes of all varieties, levels and with an almost limitless choice of teachers. Classes can be huge too, with some city studios cramming in 30+ people in larger venues. Practicing yoga in a group has many benefits including activating the mirror neurones of the brain giving us a greater sense of community and tapping into a primitive part of the brain, the part which sought safety and satisfaction within the confines of the tribe. Public yoga classes are more accessible, available and popular than ever. So why would anyone opt for a private group or one to one yoga class?

Friends and Family
Private yoga classes can be offered as either one to one or in larger groups. With private group yoga classes you can opt to have your friends, golf buddies, family, work crew, whoever you choose, be part of the group. Meaning you can make it a social occasion as well as a healthy activity.

Organisation
Much like your friends and family, if you are part of an organisation, such as a charity group, support service or community organisation, having a private yoga group specific to your organisations needs allows you to offer another healthy opportunity to come together. Because of yoga’s many benefits for the mind as well as the body, including its ability to build confidence, boost emotional balance and offer a range of tools for coping with life in general, it can be the perfect complimentary offering. If your organisation is dealing with specific issues, such as offering support for trauma survivors, cancer recovery or addiction services, a trauma informed or cancer conscious teacher will offer a yoga class with deep respect and understanding for your clients specific experiences and requirements. Yoga is fast becoming a tool in the box of the therapy and counselling services for its ability to allow those who may have experienced varying levels of trauma and disassociation to feel safe within their bodies again.

Comfort and support
For some people the thoughts of practicing yoga or any exercise with strangers can be daunting and especially for anyone who may feel conscious whether about their fitness level, weight, illnesses, recovery or trauma related issues. For some, unfamiliar groups can be uncomfortable situations and leave people feeling exposed and anxious. Private yoga classes allow you find your feet with the practice before entering a group or even if you never want to join a public class, the feeling of vulnerability is vastly reduced.

Illness, Injury and abilities.
For anyone who may have been through a recent illness, recovering an injury or have varying abilities, a private class is a perfect way to have your individual and unique needs addressed in a supportive manor. Many feel they can benefit immensely from having the hour focussed completely on their needs with specific instruction, attention and practices for their bodies. Yoga can be practiced by anyone of any ability.

Flexibility.
You can choose the time, the place and the style of yoga you prefer, whether you are having a bad day and need more relaxation time or feel energised and focused and opt for a challenge, you can discuss all of this with your experienced teacher prior to class.

Goal setting
Many people like to see progress in their practice, although yoga is not an exercise in the competitive ego stroking of complex pose attainment, it is always helpful to feel you are moving in the right direction, whether it is more ease in your movement, flexibility through the body, more calm moments or an improved ability to cope with life in general, then these goals can be discussed with your teacher and classes facilitated with them in mind.

Spirituality
For many who come to yoga they are drawn initially by the physical aspect of course but one of the ‘perks’ of a yoga practice is the slow meandering that the practice takes you in to your own spirituality and nature. I am not talking a religious nature per-say, but whatever spirituality you foster within you is allowed to deepen and expand. With the support and nourishment of a private, regular, class this aspect of the practice will begin to slough away layers of conditioning, past experiences and disillusionment, so you may begin to know yourself, your divinity and your own unique magic on a profound level. This often creeps in, in the stillness of the practice.

The one on one attention that can be gained in a private yoga class, whether through zoom or in person has huge benefits for many people who find unfamiliar group classes do not suit them. Classes are tailored to suit each person and a very deep respectful relationship between teacher and student can flourish, clearing the path for transformation on not only the physical level but on a spiritual and emotional level.

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Breakdown Or Bravery

The Straws on my back

What brought me to yoga and becoming a yoga teacher? One of the least sporting and inflexible Irish people. Simply put, I needed healing and I found it, through the practice, but as with any good story, it is not as simple as that and my story is no different.
Dabbling is about all I did in regards to yoga for several years. I knew it was something I ‘should’ be doing yet never had the resolve to commit fully.
Fast forward to 30 years old, living in Australia. I had what was on paper, the idyllic life. I had been promoted quickly in my career and was the assistant spa manager in a stunning spa on an island in the Whitsundays, the gateway to the great barrier reef. Amazing, stunning, biblical ‘Eden’ like scenery. I was young, single, earning more money than I ever thought I would and I had wonderful friendships. I worked out six days a week and walked religiously every day, I was still only dabbling with yoga but improving. I ate what I felt was a healthy diet. Yet something was very amiss. I began to suffer chronic pain, my body was always aching. Having had a car accident in my twenties leading to a whiplash injury and add to that years of massage therapy, giving not receiving, the effects on my body were beginning to accumulate. Then, I suppose the icing to the ‘ache cake’ was stress, bigger wages means bigger responsibility and bigger drama. I started suffering migraines, major ones, crawling on my knees vomiting, vertigo, blurred vision, hearing noises and wondering if I had a brain tumour type migraines. Stress, that was probably the biggest factor in the triggering of what still is a life altering illness, it still is without doubt my major trigger for them. Back then, I didn’t have any tools to cope but I desperately searched for cures, answers, treatments, anything just to help and was taking a lot of painkillers to get through the long work weeks. I enjoyed the idea of the healing aspect of my job as a therapist. I was rather naive to the business angle and when it became purely about profit, up-selling, 60 hour work weeks etc. It no longer felt aligned with those ideals I started the career with, a common occurrence I guess. It felt empty somehow and I lost any joy.

The mirror

My boss, the spa manager at the time, was a lovely, caring, gentle soul, she was also air lifted twice from our island due to stomach pains so bad she was on morphine drips. She exuded calm with a silky voice, as therapists we are trained to do, to create a sense of serenity for our therapeutic guests in our presence no matter what the reality of working in the spa might actually be behind the scenes. Yet behind her eyes were flashes of exhaustion, bewilderment and monumental stress borne through in her bodies physical cries for help. I looked at this dedicated woman, possibly 15 years my senior, single, living on the island, her life of long work days searching for ways to hit targets, boost sales, cut costs, sell- sell -sell, bottom line figures.. was like looking into a time machine mirror. I knew something had to give. During this difficult period I went home to Ireland for a short visit, hoping I would find respite and to ‘refill my cup’ with family. I found my world there also turned upside down with huge divides through the foundations of my family that sent me reeling further. I returned to Australia and I decided I would quit my job.

Being tempted and tested by the universe

Madness? Maybe. So that was the end of the problems? That was just the introduction. In quitting that job and massage therapy altogether I set in motion a chain reaction of events. I was head hunted and offered more than one spa manager position within a short space of time after I turned in my ticket. To say I was flattered and very tempted is an understatement, again financially and on paper it was the best course of action for my career, my prospects, my bank balance, my ego, all would be boosted to the extreme. I convinced myself I would do it for two years, save for a house, then change careers or maybe go back to college. I was considering the positions seriously when I spoke to my Yoga teacher friend, with whom I was living, about the curious fact these positions all came up just when I had decided to quit.. and she said something profound (as usual). Sometimes when we make a big life changing decision, the universe tests us and asks us if we are really committed to this change? Or do we need another go on the merry go round to learn a particular lesson? Boom! It was exactly what I needed to hear. I knew in my heart I would just go deeper down the ‘health vs wealth’ hole and get entrenched in the quick sand of mortgages and bills that would lock me in to staying well past any ‘promised myself I’d quit’ date, in jobs that were destroying my soul and my health. I realise not everyone is in a position to simply quit their jobs, I don’t advocate for that. Some people thrive on their careers, high octane jobs and long work weeks. I simply was not in a career that suited me and that drove my purpose, instead it was driving me to a break down.
From here I deepened my meditation practice and began a daily yoga practice of my own. I had enough, if sparse, knowledge of the yoga postures to begin and now a real incentive, my constant body pains, migraines and my own issues that I was carrying of stress and low level depression, something I realise now I had struggled with on and off all my life. I also realise now, that the ‘working out’ that I did before was about punishment for my body. Yoga was about learning to love my body.
So, flip forward a few years, after several months in South East Asia, now back home in Ireland, still aimless in regards to the long range forecast of a career but yoga is now part of my daily routine and my survival toolbox. I didn’t have the confidence to become a yoga teacher, yet, but I knew I wanted to explore and devour information on my, now, passion. My son was born and my Father passed away, all in the same year. Both these monumental events again became the incentives that drove me to seek the training that set me up to be a teacher. Birth and death have a way of shifting things into focus and I knew I needed this. To say I have faced many personal demons and had numerous dark nights of the soul on this road is putting it lightly. I have worked through what is a life time of conditioning, poor self care and self destructive behaviours mostly accumulated in my childhood and just the very experience of being a human. I have unlearned, relearned and been through the fires of responsibility and ownership of who I really am, raw and unabashed. The work is sometimes seems torturous then you have the break throughs. I wouldn’t change a moment of the process. It is a life long task and I am sure I have many more layers to sift through. Sometimes you have to break down, right down to the foundations, to build something better.

Yoga is my medicine

Yoga is physically tremendously medicinal, yet it is in our improved mental health, emotional growth and the clarifying of our spiritual purpose, yoga really begins to work its magic.
My migraines are not fully ‘cured’, yet they are vastly reduced and manageable without medication and it provides me with more tools than ever before to keep them in check. My body occasionally aches of course, I am a mother, running my own business and raising a spirited boy single handedly at 40, but it is not broken and wrecked the way I once felt, in fact my body has never felt stronger and more like my own. Most importantly my boundaries have never been stronger. I feel purposeful, energised and inspired by life, mostly, we all have days but even those days are still really ok. You won’t find me in any of the most complex “yoga” poses that fill Instagram and fuel the competitive Western ego rather than fuel the soul and that too is part of my learning, my body is still amazing. Teaching yoga is an honour and I want to share the healing that I have accessed with those who wish to learn. When I listened to the messages my body was giving me, when I really paid attention, which is part of what yoga teaches us, I set in motion a life which would see me travel a whole new incredible path, that is not just a new direction but a whole new way of being.

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The resistance to taking Yoga Online

I resisted during the first round of lock downs taking my yoga classes online, after a difficult week of putting together a youtube video and editing and compressing and all the things I am still learning about, I threw my hands up and said that home schooling and this level of stress was not going to work. It also just felt like a special time, a time when my son needed my full attention, all of me. I enjoyed the slowing down, the pace became peaceful and we were all aware I suppose that this was a rare moment in history. I write about my experience here. I had the opportunity to connect with my son on a level and in a way that was kind of magical, not without its difficulties and its “on my knees” moments of course.

Resistance is futile
This spin on the lockdown merry-go-round I felt I needed to keep in contact with my students and offer something that could be of service. This time the effects have felt different, deeper, darker maybe. With Winter on our doorsteps and the looming reduced and redacted “new normal” Covid Christmas, it felt like the time was right or maybe more now or never. And so just like I imagine the Christmas day swimmers feel leaping in for their first breath of sea frigidness, I leapt into the online teaching ocean. I imagine, like those brave swimmers, who find they in fact adjust quite quickly to the temperature and find the experience both exhilarating and refreshing, I have found myself adapting to online yoga teaching with much less fuss and floundering than I anticipated. And while I know that many yoga teachers have gone this path and many have been in fact doing it for years, it is yet another notch in my belt of “things I never imagined doing”, that started with traveling the globe alone, continued with teaching my first yoga class and now sees me taking an intrepid trek into technology. One thing we can agree Covid has done is push us out of our comfort zones, unwillingly and not without protest, yet here we are, as humans, simply adapting, as we always do.

Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe
I think of myself as old fashioned in the respect of knowing the energy I hold in the room for my students is a large part of the my job as a teacher, creating a space for people to come and find peace and ease in their bodies and minds, giving people permission to feel whatever they feel without judgment is as much yoga as the asana and yoga flows I construct with my students in mind. Yet I hope that through wifi and a screen I still bring a hint of my own vibe to my lovely yoga tribe.
To be honest I have been blown away by the support of some of the beautiful souls who have joined me on my online teaching journey, many of them just as daunted as me to be begin. I know it is not for everyone, I know it is unfamiliar, I know the resistance that comes up all too well. How could it be the same? And simply put it’s not the same, it is different, but it works. It has its advantages, no cold evenings in a freezing hall, no dark nights traveling the roads home. Students can practice in their pj’s, have a hot tea and a comfy sofa to rest on immediately after they’ve finished or just lay down on their mat half way through and say ‘I’ll just take it easy today’ with no one to care, cameras off. It’s not the same, yet the feedback has been awe inspiring. “Keeping me sane” is a common remark from students. And knowing, simply, that people get something, anything, that they need, that they can take from an hour in a zoom class to get them through, at this the most unusual time of our collective experience, is enough to keep me wading in to this ocean of online teaching. We will have other moments in our studios and halls, together in the same room again, feeling that wonderful yoga community energy we all crave, and it will be all the sweeter when we do. So for now let us indulge in the advantages zoom offers, enjoy the cosy evenings in, the rainy days where we don’t have to leave the house or even take a shower to get on our mat! Plus we get to do yoga with our pets.

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A million little paper cuts

That feeling is grief.

grayscale photo of person holding glass window while raining — Photo by Saneej Kallingal on Unsplash

I have been struggling greatly since we were asked to return to the second lockdown of the year. This wave has hit me suddenly and taken me out, side swiped by so much emotion. My studio classes ended at level three lockdown a few weeks previous and I decided to take the plunge and teach online. The learning curve has been steep yet gave me something to focus on. The level 5 was to follow and while I had made my adjustments already to continue to offer my yoga classes to students and my son continues with his schooling, I asked myself then why am I struggling so profoundly with this second full lockdown?

clear glass mason jar on beach during sunset — Photo by Andrew Bui on Unsplash

“We can not heal what we do not allow ourselves to feel.”

I have sat with these feelings, (interestingly manifesting physically through particularly tight hips) and wondered what is the discomfort infiltrating my body, heart and soul. The deep pervasive sadness and loneliness is wrapped in the damning package, I realised, of hidden grief and lost hope. I have felt grief through my bodily fibre’s before with the loss of my Father a few years previous, so I am well acquainted with the sensation of its weighty grip. I sat and let the emotions arise, coming first almost coyly and then, like a volcano erupting, the sadness poured over the edges of my body.
We have spent so much of this year saying goodbye to the million little things that make life bearable. Coffee with a friend, dinner with family, days out to beautiful places, sporting events, library trips, playdates, yoga class, a giggle with a work colleague, music festivals, the intangible pleasures such as simply having a sneaky moment alone, in a cafe, with cake, after the weary weekly shop and people watching (one of my favourites). The little things are what get us through the dark days, the drudgery of survival and those little things like a string of fairy lights, guide us, connecting us from one big event to next and from one end of our life to the other. We have lost so much. Now we continue to work, alone, from home with little or no outlets, no little lights to lead the way, no stolen moments of joy.

“There is no hierarchy of pain.”

Yet even saying that, I feel my logical mind’s guilt invoking voice arise and object for even allowing myself feel this loss. It argues, like there is some hierarchy of pain , that I am not entitled to feel this way, that I am still very fortunate and that “things could be worse” and while all this is indeed true and I may not be suffering with the permanence of an actual death or loss of something great and tangible like my home and I do still have so much to be grateful for. It is however not only ok for me to acknowledge what I am feeling, the grief of the loss of so many little joys, it is an absolute necessity that I allow myself process what is happening, how my body is containing these million little paper cuts, for we can not heal what we do not allow ourselves to feel.

Acknowledge it.

So while I will not dwell on the sadness and loneliness and allow it the power to overwhelm me, I will bow to it, acknowledge it, thank it for its purpose in guiding me to see the value of all those things I took for granted and I will let it move through me, so it can not mug me in the quiet hours and steal my peace.

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The universal language of human touch.

I wonder what my son will recall of this odd episode of life. As a four year old he was only just beginning to take those first steps into the world, still with one hand firmly gripping mine, yet discovering the width of the worlds potential as life slid into his view. Making little new friends in creche, his first sleep overs, birthday parties, trips to various exciting new places, visiting days with his Father and grandparents, all adding up to a pretty busy life for one so young. The world of possibilities yawning open for him and not coming quick enough for this urgent little youth.

When he was a newborn, in that bubble when you give over all of yourself, your thoughts and time to this tiny new creature, all he needed was me, just me. His needs were so base, my presence was all that was required. He lived on me, mostly in arms, a sling, on the breast or beside me as we slept, but always most content with me. I was his source of food, warmth, love and his emotional regulator, I was his best friend. Our relationship just burgeoning yet our bond already firmly forged. His Father shared that world with us but it was still mostly my son and me, due in some part to another virus, a common cold of some sort my sons Father had when we left the hospital after our son was born. That time was as isolating as this time is to us now. His Father was fearful of passing whatever it was to me or the newborn and he felt the need to segregate from us for a lengthy period. I was however left bereft after that most massive, life altering event of childbirth, devoid of the basic need of a tender touch, arms of support, a nourishing hug. I was left alone in the strange new bubble of care with this freshly born human. I sobbed strange tears as I floundered to understand the emotions during that period. I was metamorphosing into motherhood, and I felt alone. It is a small yet traumatic memory for me and still it left a mark. Perhaps if the time directly after that period of segregation had been furnished with supportive actions and I was met with some compassion for the normal emotions I was feeling, it may only have been a distant forgotten blip on the path to parenthood now, instead it was a foreboding sign of what was ahead for that relationship. The beginning of the end. This small understanding of what the withholding of human contact can add to an already emotionally detonating event, those pivotal moments in life, gives me a little insight into what will be for so many an indelibly staining traumatic blot on their lives beyond the crisis we see at the most obvious level. All those who are in hospital birthing new life, perhaps in the last moments of their own life or grieving the loss of those they have spent a lifetime loving, all without the ability to hold them or anyone, or to be held and bathe in someones loving embrace and feel another’s heart pressed against their own in sympathy, in compassion, in shared humanity. This lack of connection we are enduring on a million different levels, will be part of the aftermath we will have to navigate in the post virus dawn. For all our internet capabilities, for which we are infinitely grateful and rejoice, the human connections, the physical hunger we have as pack animals, is more evident than ever. The term is actually coined as “touch hunger” by psychologists. This is an interesting read on the power of touch under the scrutiny of science. “But after years spent immersed in the science of touch, I can tell you that they are far more profound than we usually realise: They are our primary language of compassion, and a primary means for spreading compassion.”

My sons needs have grown considerably since those newborn hazy days. He is now boisterous and full of light with a thirst for life’s pleasures. Now, as we are forced to recoil from the world again, under the current circumstance, returning to that state of limited contact and isolation, I wonder if I am enough. You pick yourself apart as a parent at the best of times, readily neurotically questioning if you are getting ‘it’ right, wondering if the ingredients for this experiment of parenting a child are measured correctly or added carefully enough for your particular little humans experience. But that inner voice is louder than ever now as my sons world grows smaller, again, rewinding back to mostly just being me. Am I enough? The words ring through me. His needs are certainly more complex these days and mine are too.
I wonder if he will remember me being so tired, endlessly exhausted in fact, as I process my own fears, my own personal assault of emotions rising and falling in waves, waves that can knock me down, fill me with wild tears, the ones that won’t stay hidden or maybe my impatience or shamefully even my anger, when I’ve reached too deep for too long. I wonder if he will remember me crying with frustration as I run out of the last ounce of energy I have for the long days of just us. I wonder if he will remember me yelling as he tries to do any number of acrobatic back flip style actions off the sofa, while I am begging him to put his shoes on for the fourteenth time so we can get out for our allowance of daily exercise (what a strange new world..). I wonder if he will remember my underlying fear, my uncertainty in the face of ‘lock down’ and statistics and so many unanswered questions. I wonder where his memory will go when he’s asked to recall this event.
I hope he remembers instead, my constant hugs, my tired yet ever open arms for our shared frustrations exchanged for warm snuggles, my expressions of love no matter the struggle or fight we’ve had, my open ears for his need to constantly tell me every thought and feeling and imagining that floats through his vibrant switchboard brain. I hope he thinks of our art projects and movie days, our slow walks and picnics in the woods on sunny afternoons. I hope his mind is filled with the happier moments we share. I can not predict what will happen, I can not predict if I am doing all that he needs right now or ever. But I am doing my best, and I hope and pray my best will be enough.

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The Butterfly effect

Awakening to our inner journey in this current crisis.

There are a few things I have noticed since we have begun this process of social distancing and isolation. For me being a Mother with my four year old son at home, I have been fortunate enough to be living practically the same routine as normal. We have most of our lengthy days to ourselves generally. He would however usually be in creche in the mornings, forging friendships with other pre-schoolers, building resilience and a strong immune system. I would teach my yoga classes, which gives me enormous joy. But it has not been that much of an adjustment to cause us any great disturbance to our daily lives. I admit I have slowed down marginally, my expectations of myself and where I ‘should’ be have softened round the edges. Our mornings are quieter, like most people, we have no need to rush or harry ourselves much past enjoying that long craved for Spring sun that seeps in to the kitchen as we enjoy a tad more languid breakfast. My son seems to be sleeping more soundly beside me at night and despite his solid circadian connection and his usual ability to wake at the crack of dawn since he was born, he is actually sleeping in. I have had the joy of waking before him and having those precious moments of morning silence that set me up for a more serene day. I have of course felt the agitation on the air that is the current world mood, its hard not to absorb that fear as an osmotic being for others emotions, but I think now that we are settling into this stiller version of life I have had time to take note of what is happening beyond that first layer of fear.
There is something unmistakably different about the atmosphere around us. I notice it most in nature, where I sense an indefinable edge of vibrancy, a delight beyond the first freshness of our Spring awakening. My son and I walk in the woods all year round, weather permitting, with a few choice options of woodland location just outside our door. I am a pretty regular walker, a blessing that has infinitely multiplied during this odd episode of life. Yet the woods, our nature walk just seems ‘more’.. even my son was aware of it and explained in the way a child of four can do that sets your mind thinking. He declared on our last walk ‘the woods are different’. I felt it too. When I asked what he meant, he said “it is as if a paleontologist,” he is currently planning on digging for dinosaur fossils as a career, “has dug up the whole woods and made it better”. Children are so perceptive, even if a little cryptic. Yet he was tuned in to what is hanging evident in the air, where there is a palpable feeling beneath the human apprehension, I can not quite say for sure if it is Nature responding to the withdrawing of the feverish human activity or if it is simply my son and I’s perception of it but, the birds seemed louder, the air seemed energised, the earth felt like a golden warmth was emanating from its soul. I felt like the woods and its inhabitants were rejoicing, it felt infinitely beautiful and as if Mother Earth was holding space for us, for our awareness.

The time shift

Have you felt the time shifting? The world feels more like a sunny Sunday afternoon when I was a child myself, when life seemed to stand still for an endless day on that one day of the week where work life stopped for most people. I was young and we were just on the cusp of entering in to a more 24 hour lifestyle and open 7 days consumer opportunities. That Sunday style rest day is no longer weekly but usually only reserved once a year for Christmas day at best. Yes time is turning differently right now, we can all agree to that. The hours and days are blurring and merging, not out of boredom, my day is still filled with an active four year old, so boredom is a luxury I no longer enjoy, yet I feel this effect as much as someone who has to sit in their homes in lockdown mode on a daily basis from there commuter belt rat racer life. Yes, our routines are different and there is less structure but time itself is richer to me. We all feel the bending of time equally no matter our former life to current life ratio of adjustment. I think this is something worth observing, the hive mind we share that we rarely acknowledge, is coming to stillness and we all sense it no matter our actual actions.
Outer activity has slowed, yet I feel spiritual activity, inner work has begun to quicken, move so swiftly and exponentially, like riding an emotional rollercoaster, we had slowly ticked up towards the peak, working towards a full lock down, spending a brief moment at the precipice to brace ourselves and now we are free falling from the top, fully committed, no way of turning back, half afraid, half exhilarated. This time is giving us all the opportunity to face ourselves. Face what has been simmering under the surface but we never fully allow in to full view for processing. Activity, busy-ness, stimulation and mostly just surviving has many of us trapped, spinning on the wheel, too distracted, too exhausted to sense ourselves. Stillness, the quiet we feel now is allowing each of us to sit with our shadows, our light and our very essence. For some it is comfort for others it is painful and for most, we feel both at different moments.

The rise and fall with full presence

I have sat with my own fears rising. I have felt them as bodily sensations, emotional energy or tears flowing unbidden. I have met them with curiosity and compassion where I can, reminding myself constantly that all I feel is legitimate. The fear we all sense in the air from each other, has somehow given us all permission to feel our own insecurities with a little less self judgement.
With my fear comes grief. Grief for my Father, although he passed away nearly four years ago now, the well worn path of my thoughts turns to him whenever I feel vulnerable, whenever I feel unsupported, for he would have given me so much cushioning in this situation, a sense of solid foundational support that is irreplaceable, a nurturing only a parent can offer. I think on him with a smile but I wish so fiercely that he was here and my heart breaks again. Then the lack of control I feel about the situation has unearthed more grief, grief for a lost relationship. Being a single mother, I feel the loss of an unspoken promise and the expectation of unconditional support I entered in to with the father of my son when we decided to bear our child together. There is sadness at the loss of an imagined life growing old and facing any future with someone by my side, even though the breakdown of the relationship is not any one persons “fault” I am still allowed to feel that loss and there it is. I am angry to a degree that I have neither of these arms to hold me, shoulder some of the current weight I feel I bear, alone. I know there are still many layers to go, as my own insecurities are exposed by the current situation, issues exposed that are beyond blame or fault but are real and warranted none the less. I need to process and peel away all of these legitimate feelings and this current situation has brought all of them in to the light for my tender acknowledgment and unravelling. Our tenuous hold on life is on display, laid bare, and it is unsettling yet it’s always been that way. And there will be more. I know there is a huge sense of loss and grief for so many. Opportunities and plans for work or personal journeys, dreams of big days, holidays or small events that mark our path through the year and through our lives. Promises of outcomes to efforts that will never materialise. Maybe it is simply a grief for the sense of safety, certainty or control, no matter how false, that we felt before this. Our priorities have shifted, our values come under scrutiny. I know these will all come for us to work through, and we must work with them now. Sometimes we can not even name what is tugging at our hearts and sometimes we don’t need to name it.

Emotions are rising and falling like our rollercoaster and we have the opportunity to dwell in their desire to be seen, felt, experienced and put to rest. Now is the time for inner work, truly being honest to ourselves. Examining patterns and behaviours, staying vigilant to our own flight from our feelings that everyday life conveniently papers over. We use the language of “cocooning” for our vulnerable and elderly, but to my eyes, we are all cocooning, and like the cocooning caterpillar, we will go through major, irrevocable changes, submerged in the limbo of social distancing and suddenly being so up close to ourselves. We can distract ourselves only marginally now and stay in the mode of “busy” yet there we will be. This is an opportunity. We will need rest, Yoga and meditation (or your own choice of personal care tool), self care and compassion for ourselves and others, so we can emerge in to the full expression of our beauty, our spiritually freer butterfly selves once the work is done. So with no disrespect and without in any way being flippant to the souls that will be lost or those who will be on the front line and deemed essential, maybe this time will not be so awful for the rest of us who will face ourselves and crack open our cocoons with a little bit more love and awareness in our hearts.

Vital tools

I know meditation can be difficult when we are in the midst of crisis. I find guided meditations, where we are encouraged to go deep within for a purpose, are more accessible for the mind during difficult times, to ground and to bring to equilibrium. Please feel free to enjoy this 12 minute meditation for balancing chakras and grounding to Mother Earths nurturing support.

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Practical tips for dealing with Coronavirus information overload.

The corona Virus has really landed in Ireland this week, and pretty much everywhere globally. We knew it was only a matter of time before it started spreading its muck paws over the isle, taking hold all over the country, certainly with our somewhat lax reaction to the spreading global disease, but mostly because its just not possible to contain a contagious virus, in this age of international travel. Certainly not with a virus that potentially has a two week, symptom free, incubation period.
So up until now I’d say our attitude has been pretty relaxed, we’ve approached it quite casually and with our usual humour. I would also say its our general reaction to these types of things. But maybe the reality is starting to hit home for you a little and despite your best effort maybe you are beginning to give this serious consideration?
So what to do?
I have a short list of practical things to do to prevent the fear taking hold.

To do (and don’t) list

Stop Watching the news:
The media are practically frothing at the mouth about this, they have been for a while but it’s gone pure on-repeat reporting now the virus is actually here. This is their job and events like this justify their existence, simple. The one thing I love about the internet and media today, you can cherry pick what you read, watch and give oxygen to, for your sanity turn off the 24 hour news reporting. Watching something that brings you joy, whether its cat montages, puppy’s being crazy, home videos of your own kids, a stand up comedian or a beautiful movie. Change your vibration, change your mood, laugh and let go.
Rest and Enjoy:
See this as the opportunity it is, rest and sit back. We spend our days running from activity to event and back again. Slow down. If you can stay home, switch on and binge Netflix, order a take away, dig out that hobby you bought all the equipment for but never got round to enjoying (guilty-where are those knitting needles?), bake, garden, Yoga, whatever. Look at it like Christmas week, that weird triangle of ethereal space when you lose track of days and time, when you are forced to slow down, and enjoy it if you can.
Call someone who needs to hear your voice:
This is the perfect idea if you have older relations, someone’s in hospital or you haven’t touched base with a friend or family member for a while. Call them, ask them how they are doing. Altruism, compassion, acts of kindness, these are actually proven to be beneficial for our health, both mental and emotional. This article from Big Think states, “Kindness is a virtue that is admired and applauded, in most cases. But did you know that being kind can also be good for your health? In fact, being compassionate to others can actually reset our consistently stressed systems back into our default “rest mode”, causing all kinds of positive effects to our overall health.” So taking some time to check in on someone else, a few minutes on the phone even, could benefit you as much as it benefits the person at the end of the phone. If you are the one who is feeling alone.. reach out. The Seniors Helpline 1850 440 444. Or you can find help at Spunout.
Breathe and ground.
This simple breathing technique Dirga breath, tri-phase breathing or Yogic breath is how I start most of my yoga classes. When we are stressed, unperceived to our conscious selves, our breath becomes shallow, we breathe into the upper chest only, our breath quickens. When we breath using the full capacity of the body, the vagus nerve is stimulated (our threat and fight /flight nerve), oxygen is increased, the cognitive brain engages, we focus and our heart rate slows.

Tri-phase breathing tecnique
Seated or lying, comfortably. Notice your physical body and where it contacts the floor, the chair, the mat or surface you are weighted on. Notice the textures, the solidness and the sensation of being in contact with the floor or chair as it holds and supports you. Spend a moment here.
Breathe through your nose, notice your natural breath.
Place your hands on your abdomen. Begin to slowly draw your breath deep in to your abdomen. Feel your abdomen lift and swell beneath your fingers, inflating like a balloon. On the exhale feel the abdomen soften and the belly button move back towards the spine, squeezing the air out. Repeat 3 abdominal breaths noticing the breath in your lower back, sides as well as abdomen.
Next move your hands to your ribs on your side. Inhale a slow deep breath in to your abdomen, lifting and swelling, then fill the area under your hands, your ribs with breath and feel your ribs lift and separate beneath your fingers. On the exhale allow the ribs to soften followed by the abdomen. Repeat 3 times.
Finally move your hands to your upper chest, below your clavicle. Inhale in to the abdomen, fill the ribs and finally draw the breath all the way up to the upper chest, feeling the shoulders spread wide and open. Exhaling, the upper chest softens, the ribs soften followed by the abdomen drawing in. Repeat this full yogic breath at least 3 times.
When you’ve completed return to your natural spontaneous breath. Noticing the quality of the breath. Then return to the sensation of the physical body on the mat or chair, begin bringing small movements to the feet and hands. Take a few moments to yourself.
This video can guide you through it, its takes only a few minutes.

Be careful where your attention flows. We are all being vigilant and doing what is wise in these times, but please take care of your mental health.

Creating Ambience in a Yoga Class or a Home Practice, Safely.

Perhaps you would like to enhance the atmosphere of your yoga class, meditation circle or retreat. Maybe you wish to create a welcoming space for your students or just optimise the sense of ceremonial sanctum within your home.
You may be considering the options. Do you burn incense? Or use an oil burner, if so what is the best oil? Or maybe opting for candles is a good alternative? The possibilities are quite literally endless.

Oils, oil burners and oil diffusers.

Firstly you must consider your students individual reactions to oils. Do you have anyone with allergies? This is possibly the most important aspect to consider. For example lavender, a common oil considered safe for sensitivities, it’s actually the active ingredient in many skin care products to combat sensitivity, lauded for its healing properties and most people do tolerate it well, but to every rule their is the exception, my son sneezes quite violently around lavender and can not have it on his skin without a reaction. If you have a health questionnaire you could add this specific question, “Do you have an allergy to any aromatherapy oils and if so which oils?” Perhaps people don’t have an allergy but, like me, strong scents can sometimes trigger a migraine or bring on nausea. These are all considerations for careful analysis when planning a class. The sense of smell is so unique to each individual that finding one that will uplift or relax without offending someones nose can be difficult. I had a conversation with my groups prior to classes to assess the feeling towards scented oils and it was mainly a “no” from them.
But perhaps you’ve decided on a scent and you are happy to incorporate it into your class or for your own home. For this you must buy high quality, ultra pure and therefore usually expensive oils, of which there are many options on the market. I would opt for the ‘less is more” approach also, so a small waft may be enough, rather than having a heady ‘oil burning’ smell after a day long class which may not be very calming or appealing.
Another lovely option is to place some oil on the temples of each student during Shavasnana, with prior permission of course. This can be quite a ceremonial and bonding part of the class for the student/teacher relationship.

Scented Candles & Non Scented Candles

When looking at scented candles for their aroma or even just looking at candles for their beautiful atmospheric lighting effect, say, within an evening practice, you should be aware again of any nasty additives, chemicals and poisons, yes poisons, that you may be inhaling when sitting in Nadi Shodhna or Ujai breathing through a heavy Vinyasa flow. According to this website, Hayward Score, which helps people identify hidden toxins in their environment.

“Most candles are made of paraffin wax (a petroleum waste product that is chemically bleached), which creates highly toxic benzene and toluene (both are known carcinogens) when burned. In fact, the petro-soot released from paraffin candles are the same as those found in diesel fuel fumes and can be as dangerous at second-hand smoke. In 2001, the EPA concluded that burning paraffin candles emit harmful toxins and increase health risks with multiple exposures.”

Opt here for pure beeswax, soya or any other 100% pure and natural options. Regular candles can be laden with these unwanted and downright awful ingredients, add to that cheap perfumes and dyes and you have a cocktail of toxins drifting in the air.
Take the natural option and trust me, your lungs and your students will thank you.

Lighting alternatives

If you’re looking for a safe, ambient and warm lighting effect, that also CLEANSES the air rather than filling it with potential toxins, why not add a salt lamp or two to your room? Salt lamps emit negative ions, much like being by the ocean or the fresh smell of linen from the clothes line, these ions have benefits not only for the air quality but have mood enhancing abilities. There are many beautiful options but do ensure you are buying genuine salt lamps. The light they emit is gentle and can create a wonderful cosy feeling during those Winter evening classes.

Incense sticks

Love or hate them, incense sticks and cones have been used for millennia in most religious orders in one way or another. Yet incense sticks have caused some controversy lately after they were tested for harmful effects and some samples even fared worse than cigarette smoke. However the jury is still out on their exact toxicity and the effects on the human body. As always buying good quality and natural incense is a must if you are burning them for a class or retreat. If you do persevere with them, the organic authority has some great tips. However, there will always be people who simply detest them, and perhaps you will decide they are not your people, but if you wish to offer an inclusive class then make sure at the very least your incense is not overpowering for your students by using them sparingly and in a well ventilated space.

Palo Santo

Palo santo, is a type of wood from the Bursera graveolens tree of South America. It has been used by Shamen’s in ritual for countless generations. It is known as ‘holy wood’ and purported to cleanse negative energies, have healing qualities and induces a deeper meditative state when used. It can invite benevolence and sacredness within the space. The smell when the wood is lit is aromatic, sweet and very appealing much like when you have a natural fire burning within a room. Palo Santo comes in small sticks, where you light the wood, blow it out and allow the full woody smoke waft through the space, similar to sage. It does however, like any burning compound, come with its warnings regarding possible irritation to the lungs. I have used this in class with good ventilation and had great feedback even from those who objected to all other fragrances due to the fact it just smells the most natural and has that ‘open fire’ effect. You can purchase naturally harvested Palo Santo which is harvested from wood which has fallen from the tree rather than the tree being chopped down for its wood, a sustainable option.

With any of the options, it is best practice to not use them around children, with pregnant women, those with breathing difficulties such as asthma or within a small enclosed space.

Creating atmosphere using scent can add greatly to the experience for students and to enhance your own yoga ritual and it can just as easily deter students from returning, or could be detrimental to your health long term, so thread lightly and with awareness. What are some of your favourite ways to create that vibe in your class? Or as a student, what have you appreciated when attending a class? What are your favourites tips for up-styling your yoga space at home?